TV-speak

One of the richest sources of language crimes is television personalities (ironically, people who are paid to speak). Newscasters, sports commentators (Don't get me started!), game show hosts, . . . their jargon, mispronunciations, and outright errors make me grit my teeth so badly that the enamel is worn off.

Today, let's look at some of the argot employed by a particular segment of TV folk -- the hosts of decorating shows on HGTV (Home & Garden TV to the uninitiated.) A phenomenon that has developed of late has me scratching my head and asking "Why?" I refer to the practice of adding prepositions to simple words that don't need them, such as the bewildering phrases "change up" or "change out."

When we embellish a frame, we don't simply change it, we change it out. And we aren't going to change your mantle, we're going to change it up. Why? I can only assume that the speaker believes that the more words or syllables he uses, the smarter he will appear. (Guys, guess what! It doesn't work!!) Or perhaps it is a means of being hip. Anyone can say "change," but only coolsters know to say "change up."

If this phenomenon were limited to a particular person, I would say that it is just an ideosyncrasy. That wouldn't bother me so much. Hey! All of us have our quirks. But it isn't one person, or just one or two. It seems to be across the board, almost like someone in the corporate offices of HGTV sent out a memo:

"TO: Hosts.

In assessing [insert name of show]'s competitive position vis a vis the station demographics, the powers that be have deemed that all hosts must raise their hipness quotient. As this is best accomplished via the use of jargon, our media consultants have recommended that hosts substitute the phrases "change up" or "change out" for the more pedestrian "change." A memo defining the word "pedestrian" will follow by separate cover.

HGTV provides such fertile grounds for the Grammar Curmudgeon's rantings that we shall be addressing other annoying bugaboos. But for now, peace out. Or peace up. Whatever.